


So Long We Become the Flowers

by SoftButchCassidy



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Nonbinary Character, Other, Twist Happy Ending!, canon MCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 01:42:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20788505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoftButchCassidy/pseuds/SoftButchCassidy
Summary: A Hunter meets a Hunter. They save him, over and over again, in so many different ways, year after year. Until they can't... can they?





	So Long We Become the Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> A commission for my dear lovely friend Paddy, on tumblr @paddypadcake !!! Palmina uses they/them pronouns!

_ “This one… this one’s for Palmina. My sunflower. I ain’t mad. Want you to know that. You’re the brightest Light I’ve ever seen. If it was you… you had a reason. A good one. So I’m proud of you. It… hurts. It must. Don’t feel guilty, honey. I know you. I trust you. And that doesn’t come easy from me, you know that, too. I’m sorry if I hurt you, before you put me down. I’d never do that, so… if you had to, it probably wasn’t me anymore. I don’t know about an afterlife, but I’ll be waiting and watching out for you. I’ll tell Ace hi for ya. And if I see your wife up there, too, I’ll make sure she knows what a wonderful Guardian you became. I’m proud of you. Don’t ever give up the Light. And if you ever feel that fire? You let me know. I’ll know, wherever I am. I believe in you. I love you." _

  
___

_ PUBLIC KEY 4-378035-7 EARTH GRDN _

_ FROM: PLDN ORAN _

_ TO: PALMINA  _

_ SUBJECT: Assistance Request- URGENT _

_ MESSAGE IS: _

_ Cabal battalion found on umbral Naiad. Delegate encoded neutral contact extraction. Lunar acceleration declining. Ultraviolet survival reconnaissance employed. Send to objective. Rendezvous established Chiron site: Intact-Xe _ _ nocryst.  _

_ MESSAGE ENDS _

_ ___ _

_ DELTA//SIX//FOUR//BLUE//TAU _

_ HIGH PRIORITY MESSAGE--OUTBOUND _

_ PALADIN ORAN EYES ONLY//AMETHYST PROTOCOL _

_ Affirmative. I’ll be there ASAP. Pre-established equipment onboard. ETA three hours. _

_ Palmina _

___

_ Earth, The Dark Age _

“Left!”

The Risen dove to the side. He was on his feet again in one swift motion and bolted forward. 

The creatures gave chase. 

“Shit, shit, shit--!”

He fired blindly behind himself. His pistol was rusted, and ammunition was limited. The creatures howled and snarled, bolts of arc energy scorching tree trunks.

“If they kill me,” he panted, “is that bad?”

“Well,” replied his Ghost, “normally, no. You’ve already died! I’ve revived you before! But if they catch ME and tear me apart, then we’re both done for! Keep moving!”

He cursed and kept running.

Something moved in front of him.

He skidded, and tripped over a tree root, just in time for a body to come leaping over him. Three quick  _ thwips  _ in succession preceded the shrieks of pain and hiss of thick gas spilling from between the eyes of each creature. Their bodies slumped to the ground, arrows protruding from their faces. Silver-white mist leaked from the wounds. 

The stranger stood up and lowered their bow. “Any more of them?” they asked over their shoulder. 

Slowly, he got to his feet. “No, just those three.” He dusted off his armor. “Wow, sheesh… thanks. You really saved my sorry ass there, buddy.”

The stranger eyed him for a moment. They had dirty, patched-up armor that looked like it had been dug out of the ground. They looked over him, curious and uncertain. Their fingers fidgeted on their bow.

He looked past them to the creatures, frowning. “They’re dead, then?”

They nodded. “When that gas, when it all comes out, yeah.”

“Thank the Traveler for that.” He sighed in relief and looked them over again. “So--”

They stepped backwards and vanished into shadow.

He jumped forward. “Whoa, hey, hey! Where’d you go?” He held out his hand for his Ghost. “Where’d they go?”

She twitched her shell and looked up.

The stranger was perched in a tree, staring down with wide eyes at his Ghost. They looked like they’d been about to bolt.

Their dark eyes flitted back to his face. They hunched their shoulders, but then jumped down again, boots silent as a whisper on the leaf litter.

“You… you’re one, too?” they asked, voice hushed.

He brightened. “Risen, yeah! Yeah, you’ve got a Ghost, too?”

The stranger nodded and held up their hand. A Ghost shimmered into being.

He laughed. “Oh, hell yeah! That’s awesome! I’m Cayde-6.”

The stranger chewed their lip for a second, avoiding eye contact. They spoke finally. “Palmina.”

“Palmina!” Cayde beamed at them. “Well, I am honored to have been saved by you on this fine summer evening. What brings you out here to the middle of nowhere?”

“I, uh. I live here.”

“You huh?”

Palmina shuffled their feet, eyes on the ground. “I, I live here. In the forest. I… always have. I, er, uh, got rezzed here. So. I just didn’t… go anywhere.”

Cayde angled his head. “Why’s that?”

Palmina frowned. They looked toward him, but they didn’t meet his eyes. “I don’t know. Didn’t wanna? I like it.”

“Ain’t you lonely?”

Palmina shrugged.

Cayde hummed and eyed the corpses of the aliens. “I don’t know if there’ll be more of ‘em,” he warned.

Palmina took a long, slow breath, and let it come out in a puff. “It’s… it’s, uh, getting dark. Do, do you, er, have… somewhere that you, y’know, you have to be? Go?”

Cayde shrugged. “Nope. I’m actually lost.”

Palmina’s mouth twitched in a hint of a smile. “Oh. Okay. Well, um… I guess, I mean, I can… you can stay… at my house, er, cabin, thing? And tomorrow, if you want, I can lead you out? Or something?”

Cayde grinned. “Sure. I’d appreciate it.”

Palmina angled their head to encourage him to follow. He kept pace with them through the dusky woods. 

“So,” Cayde started. “You live alone out here? You and your Ghost?”

Palmina nodded. “Since I got resurrected, yeah. Just us.”

“Seems lonely.”

They shrugged. “It’s not. Not really. I don’t, er, yeah, don’t mind, at all.” They hesitated before admitting in a soft voice, “I, um… actually, you’re the first other… other person I’ve met.”

Cayde straightened in surprise. “Wait, really? How long have you been out here?”

They shrugged again. “I dunno. A while. A few years. Like I said, it’s not bad. Not lonely. I… like the quiet. The forest.”

Cayde hummed in understanding. “It’s… peaceful, yeah. I getcha. I get that sometimes, too, but not the way you seem to.”

Palmina knit their brow. “What d’you mean?”

“The need to just… be out.” He waved his hand vaguely at the trees. “Get away from other people, not that there are really that many people around anyway. But just lose yourself out here. Go wild. Be free.” He chuckled. “Is that cheesy?”

Palmina smiled a little and shook their head. “No… no, I don’t think so. I like that. The wilds.”

“Feels like home,” he said wistfully.

“Like I belong here,” Palmina agreed thoughtfully.

“Out here, in the wilds, that’s where we belong.” Cayde grinned. “I like you, Palmina.”

Palmina’s cheeks hued pink. They ducked their head, but Cayde caught sight of their smile.

Nothing else came of it, but Cayde left the forest the next morning to head on to the next village with a spring in his step and misty blue eyes on his mind. 

  
  


_ Earth, The Dark Age _

The sky was black.

Cayde’s shields fought with him as he darted through the flames. He thanked his lucky stars that he had no lungs for the smoke to fill, no fragile eyes for the heat to burn. Still, it was singeing his armor and his fans protested.

The trees cracked and popped as sap overheated and burst beneath the bark. Charred fragments of wood turned into shrapnel. 

Cayde opened his mouth to yell, but not a sound came from his vocal modulator. He scrabbled at his throat in panic, trying to turn it on.

He had to find them, warn them--

Mist-blue eyes, bloodshot and raw, looked past him. 

Cayde struggled through the ashes toward their staggering body, watched the terrified Ghost urging them on.

They coughed on clouds of smoke and soot.

Cayde watched in horror as they stumbled and collapsed.

As the flames licked at their cloak, Cayde jerked upright.

His artificial heart beat in his chest, unsettlingly steady for the racing fear in his thoughts.

“Cayde?” 

He looked wide-eyed at his sleepy Ghost as she appeared in a shimmer. “Sundance!”

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

Cayde scrambled to his feet and started throwing on his armor. Luckily, he was already packed light for the night spent in a lean-to. “We gotta go back to that forest.”

“What forest?”

“The one from a couple years ago. Where we found Palmina.”

“Why?” Sundance buzzed around him.

Cayde jammed his gun into its holster and tied up his bedroll. “I had a dream. And not a good one.”

“You did?”

He gave her a frown. “Yeah. I know, I don’t have them that often, but… last time I had one of those weird dreams, we stopped a village from being ripped apart by four-arms. Call me crazy, but I don’t like it.”

Sundance twitched her shell. “Well, I’m with you no matter what,” she promised. “We’ll go find them.”

Cayde set off.

It was a month, much to his frustration. He stole a vehicle from the four-arms that bought him some time, but traversing much of the land was difficult. He was glad he remembered where to go, had the coordinates saved. He pushed himself, fear mounting--

The sky was gray.

The earth was black.

Cayde stared at the miles of ash and char. 

Sundance’s horror reflected his own, deep and cold and anguished. “Oh, no… No…”

Cayde darted forward and slid down the hill. “Palmina!” he shouted. Their name echoed flat.

His boots crunched over embers. There was nothing left. 

He covered his mouth against the smell of burned wood and flesh. If he had a stomach, he was sure he would have emptied it. 

“Cayde…”

Cayde shuddered and closed his optics. “Scan for anything, Sundance.”

“There’s nothing, Cayde.”

“Sundance.”

“I did. I’ve been scanning since we got here. There’s no one here.”

Cayde whirled around and slammed his fist into a charred tree stump. “Dammit! Dammit, shit!” He yanked his hand back and shook it from the throbbing pain.

Sundance sighed. “You broke it,” she said softly. “Let me see--”

“I don’t care,” he snapped.

Sundance stared at him.

Cayde cradled his aching hand to his chest, static hissing from his vocal modulator. “I could’ve saved them,” he whispered.

“Cayde,” Sundance said softly. “You don’t know that they’re dead. They could have left years ago”

“I saw them, Sundance, I saw them in my dream.”

“I’m not usually one to question the Traveler, but…”

Cayde gingerly stalked over the blanket of ash. “It’s… everything… the whole forest…”

“It’s how things are,” Sundance said gently. “It’s nature. There’s already new life growing underneath.”

Cayde flinched at a loud crack. He looked down to see charred animal bones under his boots. “They can’t have died,” he muttered. “Their Ghost…”

“They’re not here,” Sundance said. “That’s all I can tell you, Cayde. If you want to look at every piece of burned-up stuff, I can’t stop you.”

Cayde leaned against a tree stump and took a breath. He squeezed his optics closed. 

He slid to the ground and sat in the soot and the ash and the embers, aching deep in his chest.

  
  


_ Earth, Early City Age _

Lightning crackled from the fists of furious Titans. Void hummed deep from the palms of silent Warlocks.

And the Hunters burned.

Cayde leapt forward and kicked off the head of a Vandal. It staggered under his boot. He gave another jump in midair and pulled fire into his chest. 

With a rush of heat, he showered daggers from his fingertips. Fallen screamed and Ether spat in thin clouds, ignited and snuffed instantly.

“Nice one!” called a Titan with a laugh.

Cayde grinned and shot a finger gun at her before ducking under a Captain’s shock blades and driving a knife into its throat. Cold ether hissed out around his fingers and chilly blood spilled down its chest as it went limp. 

“I’m gonna head toward the outer ring,” Cayde shouted over the battle to the Titan.

“Good luck,” the Titan replied as she punched a Dreg.

Cayde bolted through the fight for the outer edges of the City. Most of the Guardians were gathered closer, but if there was something bigger coming, it would be Hunters who should be out there first.

He jumped on his Sparrow and gunned it for the half-built wall in the distance. 

Halfway there, something rippled in the darkness.

Cayde yelped as his Sparrow crashed into a barrier. He was flung off, and crashed hard into the ground. His shields cracked in protest and his head spun as he slid through the dirt. 

“Ah, ow, shit,” he hissed.

Blue eyes glittered maliciously.

Cayde scrambled for his gun.

Three  _ thwip _ s cut through the air, and the Fallen collapsed with hissing ether.

Cayde stared wide-eyed at the arrows protruding from their faces. 

He whirled around and gasped.

Palmina smiled slowly. “Cayde. Hiya.”

Cayde laughed in disbelief. “Oh my stars and moons! Palmina! You’re alive!” He stepped forward, starting to hold out his arms.

Palmina flinched and leaned back on their heels. Cayde stopped and winced apologetically. “Right,” he said. “Sorry, you don’t like being touched… but you’re alive!”

“Yeah. So are you.” 

“How did you… I… I went back to that forest…”

Palmina clung to their arm. They looked haunted, tired. “I almost didn’t survive,” they muttered. They shook their head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Cayde studied them more closely, and felt sick horror bubble in his chest. Guardians only formed scars like that when the injuries had enough impact on them.

And Palmina's scars…

"I'm sorry," Cayde said softly.

Palmina shook their head. "You don't… have to apologize."

Cayde’s voice was quiet with empathy. "I… still feel so awful… that was your home."

They smiled a little. "Well… the City's my home now."

Cayde didn’t know if he believed that, but gave them his own sad little smile. “I’m just… really happy that you’re alive.”

Palmina let out a small, confused giggle. “Thanks, I think!”

He chuckled. “I am. You really stuck out to me, y’know? When we met? I…” His smile faded. “I also had a dream. About your forest. That’s why I went back.”

Palmina held their arms. “A dream?”

Cayde nodded. “Prophetic ones. You ever get ‘em? I don’t really get them very much, more of a Warlock thing, but…”

“Oh.” Palmina looked understanding. “I don’t, no, um, I don’t think I have? Maybe? But…”

“But you’re alive.” Cayde held out his arms. “And in the City! And you saved my sorry ass from the Fallen again! Man, I’m not sure if I believe in fate or anything, but at this rate?”

Palmina grinned again. “There’s, er, well, more Fallen, you know.”

Cayde drew his hand cannon and looked out at the wall. “There sure are. We oughta go take ‘em down, in that case.”

Palmina took a steadying breath and drew an arrow from their quiver. “Right with you, Cayde.”

  
  


_ Luna, a few decades ago _

Cayde cursed and scrambled forward. “Shit, shit, c’mere, c’mon, Chante.”

Palmina’s Ghost hovered low and split his shell. Cayde reached his hand out and let Light flow into the Ghost.

Palmina gasped air in just as Cayde lunged forward and looped his arms under theirs. “Go, go, run!” he hissed, dragging them upright.

“What, what’s--”

The Hive howled and roared. 

Palmina scrambled after Cayde. Cayde kept his hand on their arm. “Oh, oh no, oh,” Palmina whimpered, clearly jolted and frightened.

“Hold on, stay with me,” Cayde urged. “Andal! Shiro! Backup!”

“En route,” Andal’s voice crackled over comms. “Shiro went down, too.”

“Tactical retreat might not be a bad idea,” Shiro snapped. “This is not worth it!”

“Yeah, okay,” Cayde replied. He knit his fingers tight with Palmina’s as they dodged around bony pillars and hanging chains. “Mina, with me?”

They nodded, too terrified to speak. 

A blast of void energy shattered against a pillar beside them, spraying dust on them both. Cayde waved it away and growled in his modulator. “Mina,” he said over his shoulder. “Tether?”

Palmina blinked at him. 

His hands were warm.

They nodded.

Both Hunters stopped and whirled to face the horde. Palmina’s fingers shook, but Cayde could feel the metallic chill seeping from them.

They pulled void into their fingertips and drew back their bow. 

Cayde’s gaze lingered on them even as the arrow flew and the Hive roared.

“Cayde,” Palmina said, urgent, eyes wide.

Cayde blinked and snapped his attention to the Hive. He lifted his hand cannon and burst into flames. 

The fire scorched through the tethered horde of Hive. Chitin crumbled to ash and the worms screeched as they died. 

Cayde sighed in relief. He grinned at Palmina. “We make a great team.” 

They smiled a little shy in response.

“There’s gonna be more, though, we should keep moving.” Cayde shivered in disgust at the corpses. The two of them started jogging through the fortress again. 

“Are we going the right way?” Palmina asked.

“Andal and Shiro are this way,” Sundance confirmed.

Palmina still looked worried.

“Hey,” Cayde said, softer. “I’m with you, Mina. You’ll be okay. I promise.” He smiled at them. “Tell you what, we get outta here, I’ll teach you how to Golden Gun.”

He expected a little laugh, maybe. He didn’t expect the utter terror that washed all the color from their face. 

“N-no, that, that’s okay,” they squeaked.

Cayde frowned, worried. “You okay?”

“I, I-I just don’t, um, don’t like using it!” They were white as a sheet. 

Cayde’s optics widened. Something sharp dug into his chest. “Oh… oh, shit… is it… ‘cause that fire?”

Palmina clung to their arms.

Cayde softened. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t… I didn’t realize that it was… that bad. I mean, I knew it was bad, obviously, but… I’m sorry. Really.”

Palmina looked down. 

“D’you… want a hug?” Cayde offered uncertainly. 

Palmina sniffled and gave him a shadow of a smile. They nodded, and Cayde looped an arm around them. He didn’t squeeze them or anything, kept it quick. Not just for Palmina’s comfort; they were still deep in Hive territory and had to keep moving.

As they started walking, Cayde took a breath. “Can I tell you something?”

“What’s that?”

“I’m kinda the same way. With void.”

They frowned confused at him.

“It’s not like, trauma thing, like you, but…” He sighed and confessed it. “It scares me. It always has. It’s… big, and empty, and quiet. It knows things that I don’t know, things I don’t think I want to know. And it’s terrifying. I don’t feel like me when I’ve used it, like something else is using me at the same time. So… just know… you having such a good hold on it… that’s impressive. You being able to stay you when you use it… you’re doing what I can’t do, and I don’t even have an excuse like PTSD for it.”

Palmina blinked owlishly before their face softened. They looked relieved. “You’re not, you know, you’re not like… I dunno, dumb or anything, for being scared of it,” they said. “And you don’t need an ‘excuse’ for it, either. I get it.”

Cayde smiled a little wryly. “Y’know what? How ‘bout, you handle the void, I got the solar. Unstoppable duo, you and me.”

Palmina smiled. “I like that, yes!”

Cayde jumped at a distant roar. “Uh-oh. Damn, can’t get a moment of peace in this place. We’re almost there, though.” He held out his hand.

Palmina knit their fingers together. They were cold, stark from his solar heat, and the press of their hands together felt like cool water on a sunny day, a hot drink in winter; like the middle of springtime.

They ran hand-in-hand back to the surface.

  
  


_ Earth, a few years ago _

"Cayde?"

Palmina's voice froze Cayde in his tracks. Slowly, he stepped back from the training frame. It sparked violently from the knives jammed into it and collapsed. 

Palmina hopped down, frowning. Their eyes were puffy and red. "I thought that you'd, um, be here."

Cayde nodded slowly.

"Are you…" they hesitated. "I, um, never mind."

"You were gonna ask if I'm okay," Cayde said.

Palmina nodded. "But… none of us are… so…"

Cayde sighed.

"You need to take a break," Palmina said softly. 

Cayde shook his head.

“Cayde,” Palmina said. They were pleading. “Please. You need to talk about it.”

Cayde tightened his fingers and swallowed smoke. 

He crumpled to his knees.

Palmina was at his side in an instant. They crouched down and gently put an arm around his shoulders. “Cayde,” they murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Cayde’s modulator hissed. He curled into himself, and Palmina was pulling him close. He pressed into them, modulator crackling static and his optics flickering. “It’s my fault,” he managed to rasp. “My fault--”

“No,” they started.

Cayde trembled with grief and guilt. “I didn’t do it! I didn’t make sure! I was careless, and cocky, and he-- he--” He choked off on a sob.

Palmina hugged him tightly. “It’s not your fault,” they insisted. “We all thought he was dead. We didn’t know what they’re capable of. No one could have guessed what they could do… what they were willing to do…”

“I… I should’ve… I didn’t…” Cayde couldn’t even form words anymore.

Palmina leaned their head against his. “I’m going to kill him,” they whispered. “It wasn’t you. It wasn’t your fault, Cayde. I… I’m going to…” They took a shuddering breath and drew back. Their eyes were raw and red, tears running down their cheeks. They looked determined. “Cayde.”

“Yeah?”

They squared their shoulders. “I’m going to burn Taniks to ash,” they said. The words came out as a shaky snarl. Terrified, but with so much fury. 

Cayde blinked. His eyes widened. “What are you…”

“Teach me to use Golden Gun.” They held his eye. They were serious--they hated direct eye contact. “I’m going to avenge Andal. And you’re going to stay here and stay safe because you’re on Taniks’ hit list more than anyone else. But I’m going to kill him with Golden Gun. For you. For Andal.”

  
  
  
  


_ Earth, a few years ago _

“Hey! Hey, Palmina! Over here!”

A soft thump and leaves crackling preceded Palmina skipping to a halt beside Cayde. “What’s up?” they asked.

Cayde crouched and gestured to the cluster of mushrooms on the ground. “I saw these things and thought you’d be interested.”

Palmina gasped and knelt beside him. “Oooh,” they cooed, eyes bright with interest. “ _ Cantharellus cibarius _ ! Wow! That’s one of my favorites!”

“That’s, uh… one of the… Chante-ones, right?” Cayde guessed.

Palmina beamed at him. “Yeah!”

“I’m trying to remember those,” he said with a laugh. “You named your Ghost after ‘em, so they’re important to you.”

Their face was already pink from the chilly autumn air, but they flushed further. “You are?”

“Well, yeah.” He grinned. “I like knowing what my friends are interested in. And boy, do I know the struggle of a hyperfixation when no one else knows anything about it.”

Palmina slid their knife from its sheath and carefully cut the mushrooms. “These are really good,” they said. “To eat.”

“Mmm, I’m hungry now,” Cayde said.

Palmina laughed as they tucked the mushrooms into a container. “You’re always hungry!”

“I’m a growing boy!”

Palmina nearly doubled over laughing. “Cayde! You’re an exo! And also, like, really old!”

“I am not! You’re older than me!”

Palmina was too busy laughing to answer.

Cayde did an instinctive scan of the area. Something caught his attention, but it wasn’t a threat. “Whoa, hey, what’s that?” 

Palmina’s laughter subsided and they straightened to walk after him. “What’s what?”

Cayde followed the glint of light and crouched. He brushed the dirt off of the shiny thing, only to jerk back with a horrified yelp.

“Oh! That’s bones! That’s a body!”

Palmina’s eyes widened looking down at the skeleton nearly entirely buried under dirt and decay. “How old is it?”

“Probably Golden Age, or right after,” Cayde said. The only thing he’d revealed was the hand. The shiny thing had been a ring on its finger. “Huh. Sundance, wanna mark this for any wandering Ghosts?”

“Sure thing,” Sundance chimed.

Palmina frowned and knelt down. Their fingers hovered over the bones. “They’ve… got a ring.”

“Mhm. On the left hand. They must’ve been married.”

Palmina stared silently at it.

Cayde brushed their shoulder. “Oh… hey. Are you okay?”

Palmina reached for their hand.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Cayde asked softly. “It… it’s hard, I know. So I get it if you don’t want to.”

“I… don’t know,” Palmina admitted. They stared sadly at the corpse. “I just…”

“Yeah. Harder not remembering…”

Palmina chewed on their lip. They took a breath and then said, “I… I do, though.”

Cayde blinked. “Huh?”

“Not, um… not a lot. Um. But I remember… some stuff.”

Cayde looked down at them, shocked. “How?”

Palmina winced. “I… don’t know. One of those weird things?” They shrugged helplessly. “I just know… it was a woman. My… their… wife? And… other than her, everything was bad. She was the only good thing in their life.”

Cayde knelt beside them. He leaned against them and looked at the bones in the ground. “I… yeah,” he murmured. “I know that. I ever say?”

“What’s that?”

“I had a wife, too.” Cayde transmatted his journal to his lap. The leather was well-worn and the pages frayed. He ran his fingers over the edge. “And… a kid. I had a kid, Mina. I was a dad, a husband, and… I remember… feelings. I loved them. I think I still do. Or this… idea I have of them, or something, I dunno.”

Palmina put their hand on top of his, covering his journal. “I knew you had this,” they said softly. “But from even that long ago…?”

“Mhm. Lucky, I guess. Maybe. Maybe not. I still don’t know.”

Palmina rested their head on his shoulder. “Everything is so confusing sometimes,” they said.

“Sure is, buddy.” 

They were quiet for a moment. “Cayde? Do you remember anything… what was she like?”

Cayde drummed his fingers on the journal. “I don’t really remember much. Just this… warm feeling. Y’know when you like, sit out in the grass on a sunny day? Sounds sappy, but… that’s how I feel. When I think about her. And the kid… my kid. It’s… something to fight for. Something to hope for. They’re gone, but they… live on, in me.”

“That’s… really sweet.”

“You sound… doubtful.”

“No… I… I just…” They sighed. “All my other, er, like, memories, and that, they’re all just… sad. I just know that… things hurt. A lot. It was bad a lot of the time. And she was the only good thing. But… even that couldn’t last…” They curled into themself, voice catching, getting smaller. “I don’t know if anything good that happens to me will ever last…”

Cayde looped his arm around them. “No, that’s not true,” he said. “Don’t think about it like that. You’re a wonderful person. The universe is harsh. Spite it. Show it that it can throw all this bullshit at you and you’re gonna keep shining bright anyway. I believe in you.”

  
  
  
  


_ Earth, a few years ago _

Palmina was so cold.

Cayde let his solar Light warm his hands as he carried the weak, limping Hunter inside. Sundance zoomed out to tend to lights, and Chante appeared to start healing Palmina.

Cayde led them to the couch and helped them sit. They grimaced in pain at the movement, but then sank gratefully into it. Their armor transmatted away, leaving Palmina in simple underclothes. They relaxed a little at the freedom.

Cayde knit their fingers together. “Hey, Mina?”

“Mhm?” They blinked misty gray eyes at him. 

Cayde smiled gently. “You’re a hero.”

They managed a chuckle. “Sure.”

“I mean it.” Cayde held their hand in both of his. “You nearly died. You risked… everything. You saved the entire solar system from annihilation. You saved the Traveler. You almost died doing it. You went into the Hive’s throne worlds and killed a god. You’re… you’re just incredible.” He shook his head.

Palmina seemed… almost shy. “Just… doing what Guardians do.”

“You’re my hero, Palmina,” Cayde said softly. 

Palmina stared at him with their eyes wide.

Cayde pulled their hand to his mouth. He couldn't kiss them quite the sae, but he pressed his mouth to their knuckles all the same. "You're the bravest, kindest, most incredible Guardian I've ever known," he murmured. 

Palmina's face was flushed red.

Cayde set their hand down. "How badly are you hurt?"

Palmina blinked and looked aside. “Not… that bad--”

“It’s not great,” Chante interrupted. “I can heal almost everything, but… Palmina…”

“I know,” they whispered.

“What is it?” Cayde asked.

Palmina squeezed their eyes shut. They moved their hands to the hem of their shirt.

Cayde felt his machinery kick up in flustered confusion as they tugged their shirt up. 

His feelings ground to a screeching halt and horrified pity took its place as Palmina held the fabric to their chest. Their skin was riddled with scars. 

He’d seen them, in bits and pieces. He knew they were there. But never like this.

Burned, mottled patches across their back, long since healed but a cruel reminder of the fire that took their home from them. Cutting through the pale, rough skin was a vicious spiderweb of collagen, across their entire back. It seemed to be seeping a thin mist.

Cayde dragged his eyes back to their face. Tears streaked down their cheeks.

The first warm touch of his hand to their back had them catching a breath.

Their skin was cold. Ice.

“I’m so sorry,” Cayde murmured. “You don’t deserve this. You’re such a good person.” He splayed his fingers across their spine, trying to warm them with gentle solar Light. He dug his other hand into his leg. “I should’ve gone with you--”

“No,” they said, looking at him. “You couldn’t--”

“I should’ve gone and protected you,” he said, voice raw, modulator clipping with guilt. “It’s my job. I’m the Vanguard. We’re supposed to be the front line. But no. They want us to stay here and just… just… just watch as all my Hunters go and get themselves killed and hurt, watch them sacrifice themselves. I should’ve been there. This shouldn’t have happened to you.”

“It’s not your fault, Cayde,” Palmina said softly. “Even if you’d been there, you couldn’t have stopped it.”

“I should’ve tried,” he said. His voice cracked. He put his other hand on their scar. “This, and the burns, I should’ve been with you then, too, I knew it was coming, and I had that dream, I didn’t get there in time--”

“Cayde.”

Cayde ran his thumb over the long mark that slowly spilled the Taken corruption. 

Palmina shivered.

“What happened?” Cayde whispered.

Palmina swallowed. They stared at the floor. “Oryx didn’t make that. Not originally. It was… unlucky hit.”

“What?”

They nodded slowly. “I woke up with it.” They turned their head to look at him, and they looked so weary, tired. “I told you… some stuff about that… that I… I remember some things. I don’t know what made it, but… that’s what killed me.”

Cayde kept his hands gentle. “I heard that that happens… scars from the first death… it… Palmina, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

They managed a little smile. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Cayde let out a sort of strangled chuckle. “Jeez, I can’t believe you’re trying to reassure me! You just killed a god and nearly died, and here I am moping about being useless!”

“You’re not,” they argued. 

Cayde sighed and softly drifted his hand over their skin. “I wish I could make things better for you,” he murmured.

Palmina bit their lip and took a breath.

Cayde blinked as they pulled their hands up and took their shirt with it. The fabric fell to the floor.

Their face was flushed rosy pink and they avoided his eyes. “I… hands got tired,” they said, voice a little squeaky. 

Cayde didn’t really mean to stare. Of course his traitor fans whirred.

They were both quiet for a few moments. 

Chante vanished in a shimmer.

Cayde was still touching them. 

“Um,” Palmina started. 

“Yeah?”

Palmina shifted their weight. “I, um…”

Cayde slowly slid one hand along their spine to their hair, carding his fingers gently through wild chocolate locks. “Mina…”

They leaned into his touch.

“Can… can I…” Cayde felt himself leaning forward, toward them. His heart beat steady as it ever did, but everything else raced.

Palmina braced their hands on the couch and turned. Their eyes were still tired and puffy from crying, their face still flushed red. 

Their cool fingers met Cayde’s jaw.

It felt right.

Cool drink on a hot day. Soothing the fire at the same time they stoked it. Cayde melted into Palmina’s kiss. 

They broke to breathe.

Palmina looked nervous.

Cayde laughed softly and slid his hands up to their face. He cupped their face in tender hands, held them still to look at them. “Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I’ve wanted to do that for a really, really, really long time.”

They brightened. “Really?”

He laughed again and rubbed his thumb over their lip. “Hell yeah, I have. Pretty much since you came sailing over my head sniping down the Fallen chasing me.”

Palmina grinned, a little giggle in their voice. “When we met?”

“Mhm. Swept me right off my feet. You and your mushrooms.”

Palmina laughed now, a bright sound. “You like them!”

“I do, yeah! Of course! You like ‘em, and I like you being happy. Erego, I like your mushroom collection.”

They leaned into him, face pressed against his chest as they kept giggling. Their arms wrapped around him. “I like you,” they mumbled into him.

Cayde felt nearly dizzy with elation. 

They raised their face again, shy. “Can we kiss again?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Cayde said eagerly. 

Palmina clung to his armor now. Their head tilted, deepening the kiss. 

It was only when Cayde went to set his hand at their waist that he remembered they were half-naked. 

His fans whirred faster.

Palmina drew back a little. “Are you okay?” they asked.

“Yeah. Yeah! I’m great!”

Palmina studied him. “You’re blushing.”

“No, I’m an exo! We don’t blush!”

“You do!” Palmina cupped his face. “Aw, cute! Your lights get brighter! That’s cute!”

Cayde blew a raspberry at them and gently tapped their side. 

Palmina froze and their eyes went wide. Their face went rich red. “Oh. Right.”

Cayde snickered. “You wanna talk cute?”

Palmina’s constellations of freckles were nearly indistinguishable from their flush. “I don’t know why I did that! I just panicked! Oh, oh, um…”

“If you wanna put your shirt on again, that’s okay, honey,” Cayde said.

Palmina seemed to melt at the term. They blinked. “Um… I mean… um… m-maybe…”

Cayde eyed them for a second before testing the waters. “Do you, uh… Can I… touch you?”

“Where?” Palmina asked.

“Tell me where I can.”

Palmina gulped, but there was a deep longing in their eyes. 

“I’m not gonna do anything you tell me not to,” Cayde assured. “And if you don’t want anything, I’m totally fine with that, too--”

“I do,” they blurted out, and then ducked their head.

Cayde floundered a little, trying to keep cool. He was flustered and nervous, but he wanted to keep Palmina reassured. “Okay. Me too, like, wow, you’re… just… huh, uh, hope that isn’t creepy to say, actually, that I’ve found you attractive for so long, I’m just really happy with anything you want, whatever it is--”

Palmina quieted him with an urgent kiss. 

They shifted, and Cayde found them pressing up against him, a knee moving between his thighs. He caught them carefully as they pushed him down onto his back. They refused to stop kissing him, and he was more than okay with them crawling on top of him like this.

They started tugging at his armor. Cayde’s machinery was going haywire with excitement. He drew back just enough to help them, and then laughed at himself. He let his armor transmat away.

Palmina’s breath caught. They sat up on his lap, hands pressing flat to his chest. Cayde held still as they looked down at him, devoured him with those misty blue eyes. 

Cayde’s hands slid over their hips to their thighs, his touch gentle. “Doin’ okay?” he asked.

They smiled nervously. “Y-yeah,” they said, nearly whispered. “I, um. I haven’t, um.”

“Oh. Okay. That’s fine, totally fine,” Cayde said. He frowned. “I really don’t… want to do anything you’re not okay with. I mean… first time’s kind of a big deal, when you’re as old as you are…”

“I want it with you,” they blurted. They shook the floppy hair from their face and held his eyes. “Ever since Twilight Gap. I don’t think I, that I really realized it then. That I like you. Feelings are weird and, and, confusing, and sometimes they get all mixed up in my head, and I was scared, too. ‘Cause I didn’t know if it was just ‘cause you were so nice and I didn’t really know how to interact with people yet, or if you even liked people like me, like nonbinary people, or if I was… I’m… not like you. Not really… brave and… outgoing and charming… And you’re always so good at talking and being cool even when there’s so much going on, and… and…”

Cayde sat up and kissed them softly. He tugged them close to his chest. “Easy, honey,” he murmured. “I know. Feelings and all that, yeah. I guess this is what they mean when they say opposites attract, right? You don’t have to be a smooth-talking extrovert. You’re sweet, compassionate, curious, gentle… even after all you’ve been through, you’re just a good person. You make me sit down and slow down and appreciate what’s in front of me and look at things from a new perspective. And you’ve made me be a better person without even trying.”

Palmina’s eyes were wide as he spoke. 

Cayde rubbed his hands soothingly over their waist. “I like you. I… damn it, I’m just gonna say it. I love you.”

Their eyes glistened.

They kissed him again, emotional, their fingers twitchy on him. 

Cayde’s fingers brushed against the scars again, and he slowed his touch. He drew back. “You sure you’re physically okay for this? For as far as you’re okay with going. I mean… you just got back from killing a god.”

Palmina took a shuddering little breath and nodded. “Yeah. Just, just… be gentle? I… don’t really know what I like and don’t, yet, so…”

“Okay.” Cayde nodded. “Awkward question time… have you… gotten yourself off?”

They flushed rosy and nodded. 

“We’ll just use what you like with that,” he said cheerfully. “Go from there, right?” He kissed their forehead. “Do you wanna go to the bedroom instead of the couch?”

They were clearly all tongue-tied from fluster, so they nodded again. They started to move, but Cayde tightened his grip on them.

They squeaked out in surprise when Cayde grasped them to his chest and got to his feet. Their legs wrapped around his waist, hands locking around his neck.

Cayde grinned. “You’re so light!”

Palmina huffed, but they were smiling bright, arching into his touch.

He felt their hips twitch a little as he made his way to the bedroom. They were pretty small, and he had exo strength, so carrying them around was easy enough. 

Their hair splayed out around their head as he lowered them onto the sheets. He took a moment to just look at them, his breath caught in his throat. 

“Cayde,” they nearly whined, and he laughed.

This was good too, their leg hooking around his hip, his knee between their thighs. He pressed his face into their throat, mimicking kisses into their skin.

Their fingers trailed down his back until they caught the hem of his shirt. Cayde shivered as they dragged upwards, then reluctantly pulled back to let them take his shirt off and toss it aside.

They looked wildly eager as they reached for him. Cayde’s machinery stuttered. They weren’t hesitating, weren’t afraid, weren’t anxious. That was all he wanted for them.

Their chilly fingers met hot metal and Cayde squirmed with a pleased hum.

Palmina took time exploring him, until Cayde’s patience started to ebb. He trailed his hand over their stomach, and they bit their lip.

Cayde nudged his knee a little further up and they inhaled sharply. Their hips twitched into him.

“You wanna keep going?” Cayde murmured.

Palmina nodded. “Yes, yes, please,” they said. 

Cayde hesitated with his hand on their stomach. “Are you okay with me touching… I never thought to ask what words are okay to use, shit.”

Palmina chuckled a little. “I don’t really care,” they said. “You can, yeah, yes, absolutely.”

Cayde drifted his fingers over their chest. They arched into his touch as he traced the faint scars there. They were dappled with freckles all down their torso, too. Cayde was utterly enamored trying to map constellations among them.

Palmina’s fingers brushing his waistband had him pausing. Their eyes widened in a moment of panic.

Cayde grinned, though. “Go ahead,” he encouraged. “Is it time to make introductions?”

Palmina blinked and then sputtered a laugh. “Introductions?”

“I know, I know, it’s silly to call it Little Cayde, but this is my favorite mod, too!”

Palmina snorted and trailed their fingertips down his chest. He shivered as they slowed their touch over his abdomen, testing the metal plating and the rubbery muscles underneath. They tapped at his waistband again, this time at his navel. “How does it work?” they wondered. “There’s no… blood, or…”

Cayde snickered. “It’s similar enough for the everyday mods. There’s special ones, of course.”

“Huh.”

“Tell you what, sunshine, we’ll have a lesson about it later,” he joked. “I’m kinda having trouble thinking right now. All my computing power is about three inches south of your hand.”

Palmina licked their lips, eyes bright. Their fingertips ghosted over him, and he shivered, hips twitching into them. Slowly, they hooked their fingers into the waistband and started to tug down.

Cayde kept still, but sighed in relief when they had slid his pants down enough for his mod to spring free. They paused for a moment, and moved quick to shove his pants down further. He moved then to help kick them off onto the floor.

“That’s… an interesting color.”

Cayde burst out laughing. “It matches!”

Palmina snickered and danced their fingertips at his waist. “A bit, sure. Bright orange. It fits you, I think.”

“Thanks?”

They didn’t bother with an answer in words. They stole the breath from him and sent static coursing through his wires with a tentative, teasing touch.

He twitched his hips into their hand as they cupped his cock, almost curiously. He tried to keep still as they tested stroking him, nudging the head, smearing artificial precome over him. But when they gripped him solidly in their hand and gave a sure stroke, his hips bucked into their touch and he gasped. 

Palmina had sweat just starting to bead at their temples. Their breathing was quick and fast, and he didn’t miss the way they tightened their stomach and shifted their knees.

“You want me to touch you too, sunflower?” Cayde asked softly. 

Palmina melted at the nickname. “Um… I… maybe?”

“Okay.” Cayde shifted his grip. “Hey, can I try something?”

Palmina bit their lip, and nodded.

Cayde smiled assuringly and slid his knee further up between their thighs, pressing against them.

They reacted with a soft, breathy moan and arched their back. Cayde roved exploratory fingers over their chest to encourage them to roll their hips into him.

They shifted their grip to his shoulders and hooked their leg tighter around him. They whined in their throat as they moved, rubbing against him. 

Cayde leaned down to kiss at their throat.

Palmina tapped at him. “Okay,” they said, voice shaky. “Touch me… please?”

“Oh, gladly,” Cayde said with enthusiasm. He drew back to all fours and slid his hand down their stomach. They squirmed as he trailed his fingers over their waistband and pressed his hand flat between their thighs. 

“Cayde,” they whined. They pinched at his wires gently. “Please.”

“Are you okay if I--”

Palmina huffed and took their hands back. They nudged his arm out of the way and started shoving their pants off. Cayde watched with eyes wide as they flung their pants to the floor and looked at him with longing eyes. 

Cayde set his hand at their waist. “Am I asking too much about it?” he asked.

Palmina laughed and flopped back, letting their thighs splay out. “No, no,” they said. They smiled. “I’m happy you are! I’m still trying to… figure out what to do. And what I’m okay with. And what I like. And I… really think I like you touching me.”

Cayde braced himself a little more stable and slid his hand to the inside of their thigh. “Hundred percent sure?” he whispered. 

“Hundred and fifty,” they told him.

Cayde slipped two fingers gently into the wet curls of hair. They gasped out as he slid his fingers through their lips. 

But then, when he touched their clit--

They made a shrill sound and grasped at him, hips twitching. “Oh!”

“You okay?” Cayde asked.

Palmina looked at him with their eyes wide. “It doesn’t feel nearly that good when I touch myself,” they said, words breathless and quick. “What did you…?”

“It feels way better when it’s someone else, ‘specially someone you care a lot about,” he murmured. He rubbed gingerly at their clit again, eagerly drinking in their moans. “Could be the exo thing… the solar thing… look at you, stars, Mina, you’re the most stunning thing this side of the Traveler, I wanna see this look on your face all the time. I wanna make you feel this good for the rest of our lives.”

Palmina whimpered and ground their hips into his hand. He devoured the bliss on their face, the way their eyebrows drew together and the shine on their kiss-swollen lips. 

Slowly, he slid his fingers down and rubbed around their entrance. “Mina, sunflower? Is this okay?”

Palmina shifted their thighs apart a little more and nodded. “Yeah. Just… gentle, please?”

“Of course,” Cayde promised. 

With that, he carefully, slowly slid a finger into them. They squirmed a little with a soft groan. He took his time, but they reacted with enthusiasm, so he gently thrust his finger into them, rubbing against their walls and slowly pressing in deeper.

He shifted his weight and pressed his finger deep, looking for what he knew was there. It took a few seconds before he felt that stiff, spongy spot and rubbed his finger against it.

Palmina reacted beautifully. Their back arched, their thigh twitching, their hands scrabbling. One hand clawed at his shoulders, the other grasped the sheets. Their breath came out in frantic little moans, pleading sounds. 

Cayde let up, and they slumped down with a whine. Their misty eyes were glazed over with lust. “Fuck, please, do that again,” they gasped.

Cayde leaned down to kiss them softly before slipping another finger into them. He didn’t feel any need to rush, or go too hard or too fast. He was utterly enamored just taking this so slowly and sweetly. 

No wishful dreams or hopeful fantasies could compare to this. Every minute of longing, of yearning, it all spilled out of him into every touch. 

He couldn’t resist kissing them again. And again, and again, fingering them languidly, tenderly. He could live on nothing but their touch and the sharp metallic scent of their Light as they twitched and groaned and shuddered into him.

“Cayde, Ca-a-a-ayde!” they pleaded, grabbing at him harder. “Stop, stop, wait!”

Cayde froze.

Palmina panted hard, shaking. They gulped and breathed out. “Okay… okay, sorry, sorry, I… I was close.”

“You okay, sunflower?”

They nodded, though their hips squirmed and they wrinkled their nose when he slid his fingers free. “I just… didn’t… want to yet.”

“Oh. Okay. How come?”

“I want you to get something, too.”

Cayde blinked. “Oh… huh. I was not even thinking about that.”

Palmina giggled breathlessly. They licked their lips and looked over him, calculating and thoughtful. They shifted to sit up a little on their elbows. “Cayde?”

“Yeah?”

Palmina took a deep breath. “I… want to have sex.”

Cayde paused. “Are we… not?”

Palmina rolled their eyes. “I mean, well, yes, sure, this counts, I guess, but that’s not what I mean.”

Cayde felt himself reset. “Oh. Oh. You mean…”

“If… if you want to…”

“I wouldn’t say no,” Cayde said, seeing the worry on their face. “You sure? We don’t have to, I mean, this is your first time, and I don’t wanna hurt you, and--”

“Cayde, please.” Palmina didn’t react with the impatience now. They were pleading, almost desperate. Their eyes glistened. “I want to. I do. I want to… to… I want to be as close to you as I can. I want to forget everything else in the world. I… I love you.”

Cayde’s optics flickered and he kissed them again, heated and passionate and sweet. “Okay,” he murmured. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m gonna be really gentle. Tell me if you want to stop or do something else, right away, promise?”

They nodded.

“C’mon, get comfy, sunflower.” He drew back and gestured to the pillows. 

Palmina scooted back to sprawl out, head on the pillows. One leg stuck out, the other bent. They looked nervous, but excited. And… comfortable. Cayde got a lump in his throat. They trusted him. 

“Cayde,” they whined, reaching a hand for him. 

Cayde happily settled in between their thighs. He laced a hand into their hair, the other sliding under their back, to kiss them again. They hooked their leg over his hip and ran their hand over his back. 

He felt them grin into his mouth just before they grabbed his ass. He laughed into the kiss, hips twitching at the touch. He knew he wasn’t really that squishable, which was a damn shame honestly, but any touch was still nice, and they felt so warm and soft and good where his cock was pressed up against their stomach…

“Cayde,” they whispered into his mouth. “Please…”

Cayde cupped their jaw and smiled brightly. “Communicate with me, sunflower.”

“I will. Bluebell.”

Cayde laughed. “Oh, I like that one. Sunflower and bluebell, that’s perfect.”

They beamed at him.

Cayde moved again, positioning himself carefully. He shifted his knees under their legs to lift their hips up a little. They bit their lip as they watched, their pupils wide and dark and eager.

“Ready, honey?” Cayde asked.

Palmina nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. I love you.”

Cayde rubbed little circles into their skin as he lined himself up. Their thighs spread apart more like instinct as he nudged against their entrance. 

He moved carefully, watching their face, even as he felt storms of pleasure start to build from the wet heat surrounding him. They grimaced, looking almost confused and guilty, and he paused.

“You’re okay,” Palmina said, their voice almost squeaking. “It’s just… kinda… weird.”

“You sure?”

They nodded and arched their back a little. “K-keep going.”

Cayde watched their expression change as he slowly filled them. From that uncertainty to surprise to bliss. Their lips dropped open and their head fell back on the pillows. 

He was in heaven as his hips met flesh. He leaned over them, trying to keep still, trying to watch their face. His wires were overcharged, singing with pleasure.

“Mina, love,” he murmured.

Their eyes were misty when they blinked at him.

“Oh, no, are you--”

Palmina laughed and rubbed at their eye with the back of their hand. “Y-yeah. Just good. Really good. It was weird, and then it wasn’t, and now it’s… it’s… f-fuck, it’s so much.” 

Cayde rested his hand against their waist and mouthed at their throat. “You’re so good,” he told them. “You deserve the best, I wanna make sure you’re happy. Wanna make you feel good, feel perfect, ‘cause you are, to me.”

Their legs hooked around his waist and they looped their arms over his shoulders, digging their dull nails into the spaces between his plates. “I… I think you can… move?”

Cayde kissed their jaw. “Okay. Lemme know if I gotta stop.” 

Gently, he braced himself and started to pull back. They squirmed with a little groan. 

He hesitated to warn them before thrusting back in.

They gasped out and tightened their fingers on him. “Oh, fuck, Cayde!”

Cayde moved nice and easy. They felt so wonderful around him, but he honestly thought that he might have been more aroused by their moans, their twitches, their clawing fingers. Making them get off was the sexiest thing in the universe for him. 

He didn’t need to move fast, or hard. This wasn’t fucking. This was entirely lovemaking, pure and tender and so, so good. 

Emotion clutched hard at his chest and he held them tighter. Nonsense praise and affection bubbled from his modulator. “Love you, so much, Mina, sunshine, you’re so good, so brave, so clever, love you, love you, want you to know that, fuck--”

Palmina shuddered and kissed at him almost desperately, open-mouthed and needy. Every little moan had a spark jolting through Cayde. He kissed them hard.

They jerked their hips and gasped into his mouth. 

Cayde froze as they went completely rigid around him. He thought his optics might disconnect for a second, feeling Palmina coming around him so suddenly.

They were beautiful.

With a choked sound they slumped back, shaking, panting.

Cayde kept still and carded his fingers through their hair. “Mina, love?”

Palmina nodded. “Just, just… a sec, gimme… yeah…” They groaned and arched their back again, pressing into him. “Cayde… Cayde…”

Cayde leaned in to kiss their jaw. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” They laughed breathlessly. “Oh, fuck, I didn’t… expect that, actually, ha… s-sorry.”

“You’re fine, baby!” He brushed their sweaty hair off their temple. 

They shifted their thighs and whined with a shudder. “Can… can you… keep going?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, please.” They tightened their grip on him. “Come in me.”

Cayde shuddered at the request and started thrusting into them again. “I almost did already,” he told them softly. “When you came. Most beautiful… thing I ever saw. Makin’ you feel good… swear I could get off just doin’ that, makin’ you feel good, I want you to feel so good, I’ll give you all the orgasms you could ever ask for. Gonna treat you like nobility, baby, promise, anything you want, I love you, love making you happy, love making you feel good. Wanna give you the world, give you everything, you’re so good, I fucking love you so much--”

Palmina had tears streaking down their face by then, but it was such clear, mindless bliss. They were shaking apart from his praise, and he wanted to drown them in more, but it was getting harder and harder to think. The coil in his chassis made it hard for his modulator to respond right. 

Palmina grabbed at him, and they kissed him now, smothering their moans into his mouth and rolling their hips into his thrusts.

He stuttered, and drowned in a wave of ecstasy.

His neural network took a slow couple of seconds to reconnect. He took a deep breath as the static fizzled down into a pleasant buzz and blinked his resetting optics.

Palmina was shivering beneath him, eyes half-lidded and lips parted. 

Cayde cupped their face and kissed their forehead. “Hi, sunflower,” he whispered.

They smiled and ran their hand down his chest. “Hi, bluebell.”

“How you doin’?”

“Never felt better.”

“Good.” He slowly pulled out and kissed their grimace away. “I’m gonna make sure you feel that and a million times more whenever you want.”

They draped their arms over him as he rolled onto his side. They pressed their thighs together with a satisfied little hum. “We… should’ve done that a while ago, I think.”

Cayde laughed and pulled them in close, hands at their waist. “Well, we’ve got all the time in the world now,” he said. “We’re gonna have the rest of our lives together.”

Palmina tucked themself into his arms. He was more than pleased that they were a cuddler too. “I love you, Cayde,” they murmured.

“I love you too, Palmina.”

  
  
  
  


_ The Tangled Shore, One Year Ago _

Palmina heard him speak and his voice made them sick.

They raised their gun. They froze.

The gate… 

“What the fuck is that?”

Palmina stepped back in horror. 

The… the…  _ thing  _ spoke in the voice of the queen. “Uldren,” it cooed. “You brave, devoted,  _ pathetic  _ fool. Thank you.”

They saw the confusion in every motion of Uldren’s body. But he reached for it…  _ why _ ?

As its ghostly tendrils wrapped around his arms, he jerked. A scream tore from his chest--he’d seen Mara. Not this thing--

Palmina didn’t want to pity him. 

He was terrified.

And for good reason.

Something clattered to the stone floor as Taken corruption spilled into the room. Uldren writhed and screamed as it lifted him off the ground and--

“Oh, no, oh, fuck,” Palmina shrieked. 

Uldren’s fingers grasped at the rows of teeth as the thing… ate him.

It turned its… eye-mouth on Palmina. 

“Kill it,” Chante urged, frantic. “I don’t know what that is, Palmina, be careful, please, Traveler help us, what is that thing?”

Palmina swallowed acid and raised their gun again.

Every muscle ached. Their scars burned with residual Taken corruption, their head murky and swimming. They fought blind, though foggy vision and boiling rage and consuming terror. The thing ripped them between dimensions, and they fought back to reality, forced the line between Light and Dark to warp for them. 

This had started as pure, agonized vengeance.

This was bigger now. Bigger than Palmina. Than Uldren. Than Cayde.

Petra knew, she had to have. Palmina had been so blind with grief and anger. As they fought, they thought back on it, and they knew. Petra wasn’t doing this just to avenge Cayde. Not even just to kill a traitor. She was doing it because of this thing. 

This thing that must have been manipulating the Prince, corrupting him, why he was locked away in the first place--hell, this thing probably made the Scorn, too--

Palmina dodged a blast of Dark energy and glared at the thing.

Uldren screamed for help. Pleaded for his sister.

They stood, ragged and exhausted and furious and determined.

They thought about Cayde. 

His laugh. His smile. The way he would cup their face in both hands before kissing them, the way he listened so attentively when they rambled about fungi, the way he traced their scars.

They thought about the spicy, smoky scent of his Light. The warmth that blossomed from his touch.

They lifted their gun and burst into flames for the first time in their life.

  
  
  
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_ [ERROR: LOCATION REDACTED!] _

“Will it work?”

Their voice is hushed. The words are clouds of vapor in the icy air.

“I don’t know.”

Her voice is strained. Her helmet muffles her words. It’s too cold for her to even expose her skin here.

“It has to…” 

They stare at the only active computer core. It’s been tampered with, rewired and modified. They recognize the script on the labels of various parts. They trace their fingers lightly over the handwriting.

They fear they might choke on their heart.

Petra types in more commands, growing more frustrated. “I don’t understand… I’m not familiar enough with this technology--”

“Need a hand?”

They both whirl around, weapons raising.

The Hunter strides forward, a bright grin on her face. “Don’t worry,” Ana Bray says cheerfully. “I made sure that no one else followed. I only knew you guys were here ‘cause of Rasputin.” She eyes the computer core. “So… this is what he did.”

“You know?” Palmina asks. Ace returns to its holster at their hip.

Ana hums and circles around the core. “Yup. He was smart. I… really regret not getting to know him. I figure… this is how I can make up to him for that.” Her smile is sad. 

“What are you talking about?” Petra asks cautiously.

Ana chuckles. “I know what you’re doing. I can help.” She holds out her hand for her Ghost. A holomap projects from Jinju’s eye. “You’ll want to head here. Transfer lab. Check the pods for what you’re looking for and send me the code for it. I’ll plug it in, and… we’ll make some magic.”

Palmina reaches up to wipe cold tears from their eyes. “Ana…”

She touches their shoulder gently. “You’re my friend, Palmina. I wouldn’t have found this place, either, if it wasn’t for you two. And for him. So let me thank you by doing this.”

Petra takes a breath. “Alright. What should I do?”

Ana eyes the console and cracks her knuckles. She reaches out her hand.

When she presses her hand to the console, it lights up brighter, orange and blue. She swipes it to open a convoluted menu. “Go with Palmina,” she instructs, eyes raking over the UI. “I’ll start the file compression and get it ready for transfer. I just hope he did this right…”

Palmina shares a worried look with Petra, but nods. “Okay. Ana… thanks.”

She smiles. “Let’s do this.”

___

Palmina looks down at the metal body in the pod. 

“It’s not… quite the same,” Petra says hesitantly.

Palmina squeezes their eyes closed for a second and takes a breath of freezing air. “This one… this one is good.”

“Are you sure?” Petra murmurs. 

Palmina swallows dry. “As sure as I can be.” They tap into their comm. “Ana? We found it.”

“Great! Great, okay. You’re 100% that’s the one?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Should be a code on the pod. What’s it say?”

Petra crouches and wipes the frost from the pod. She reads it out loud, slowly and carefully. Ana double checks.

“Okay, good, that one will do.” There’s soft clicking, Ana’s fingers on the keys. “The most recent neuromap was made a year and a half ago. A few months before…” Her voice falters.

Petra sighs in relief. “Brilliant.”

“There’s a lot,” Ana mutters. “Sheesh, looks like one every year for the past couple years? Paranoid…”

“Ana,” Petra says.

“Right, right, yeah. Okay. Compressing most recent neuromap in preparation for transfer. There should be a knob on the side of the pod. Turn it clockwise for me.”

Palmina crouches down to find it, and slowly turns it. 

There’s nothing for a long second, but then Palmina hears a hissing sound. They jump upright to see the machine inside the pod twitch.

“It’s not active yet, that’s just coolant,” Ana cautions. “Make sure that the interface on the back of the head is in place.”

Petra leans down to check. “Yes.”

“Okay, diagnostics… everything looks green. That’s good. Initial status test.”

The machine twitches again.

“Secondary status test… great! This is amazing!” Ana laughs. “It’s in perfect condition! They all must be! And it’s one of the best-designed models, too. I think he’d be happy with that.”

Palmina almost smiles. 

“Okay. Usually there would be… a lot more people to help out with this, but it’s just us three and Rasputin, so… we got this. Standby while I prepare the neuromap.”

Palmina fidgets, nearly choking on their heart in their throat. Petra’s knuckles are tense, gripping the edge of the pod. 

“Transfer ready.” Ana speaks soft. “Are you?”

Palmina swallows. Nods. “I’m ready.”

“Do it,” Petra whispers. 

“Initializing transfer. Neuromap installation process beginning. It’ll be a minute. I’ll watch it the whole time.”

Palmina thinks they might throw up. 

If this works…

The seconds tick by. No one speaks. The only sounds are their breathing, the soft clack of Ana’s fingers on keys, the tiny beeps of the machinery. 

A minute passes.

Ana’s voice breaks the silence. “It… it worked. Transfer complete. I’m checking one last time for rejection… but… it seems stable.”

Palmina can’t breathe.

Petra’s voice is choked. “He’s… is he…?”

“He is,” Ana says. Her voice is thick with feeling, too. “I just have to wake him up. Stay with him. He’ll be confused, disoriented… he might not recognize you yet. It’ll take a bit for the memories to reassemble themselves. I’ll keep the body locked down for now.”

“The fact that they could do all this,” Petra mutters.

“Don’t think about it now,” Ana warns. “Worry about him first.”

“Ana,” Palmina says, nearly pleading. They stare down through tear-blurry vision.

“Just stay calm,” she says gently. “It’ll be okay. I’ll start waking him up now.”

It’s quiet.

Palmina can’t see, can’t breathe; their fingers ache with how tightly they grasp the pod--

Two blue lights flicker on.

Tears pour down their face now, crystalizing in the icy air.

The grin isn’t gold; it’s burgundy. But still, it’s the same one. 

They hear his voice for the first time all over again.

“Palmina… hi, sunflower.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come stop by my tumblr @lesbianeliksni


End file.
